A Teenager’s Perspective

A Teenager’s Perspective on Living in an Abusive Home

“All children deserve a father they aren’t afraid of. All women deserve a partner they can trust. All abusive men deserve a chance to break the cycle of abuse they learned from their fathers.” This is the dream of most families who are struggling with dysfunctional and abusive relationships.

I agree with this dream. I grew up in a home where my father was abusive. If this dream had been a reality when my family needed it, perhaps I would have a father I could respect and I wouldn’t have a thousand memories I don’t want to remember.

I’ve heard many family counselors say that divorce is incredibly hard on children; therefore, it is better for the family to stay together. In my opinion, those eggheads don’t have a clue about what it is like to grow up in a violent home.

I don’t want to promote divorce, but I don’t believe the good Lord wants his children to stay in a relationship where daddy comes home drunk every night, reeking of cheap perfume, raging at his wife about how unattractive she is, and beating his kids. Granted, this is taking it to the extreme, but abuse is abuse.

If you are in a relationship which puts your life or the life of your children in danger, you need to get out. I promise that the Lord won’t condemn thee unto hell for all eternity.

I’m not screwed up because my parents are divorced. I would be much worse off than I am now if my mom and I had stayed there.

When you do get out of an abusive relationship, and if he comes crawling back to you with promises not to do it again, don’t go back. His promises are emptier than Al Capone’s safe. He will do it again.

To those of you who take pity on these abusive men, pity them only because they do not know God’s love. Please, I beg you, do not pity them because you think they are the product of a cruel society or their own broken homes. These men should be held as responsible for their actions as Hitler was for his.

A 17-year-old punk who is twice the man any abuser could ever hope to be


This letter was based on an interview I had with a 17-year-old guy who grew up in an abusive home.

Copyright © 1998, 2013 Brenda Branson

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